{flow}

July 28

Another shoot with tasha last weekend. We had this awesome idea we were going to try to pull off but were scared away by the prospect of hiking and outdoors shooting in 30+ weather for hours on end. Okay, i was. heatstroke is not my friend so thats put over till fall for now.

instead we borrrowed her sisters beautiful home in hillhurst for the afternoon. I love new places. so many new options and possible photos. it makes you see things differently. I also love taking something fairly ordinary looking (like those flowers) and bringing it into a larger more interesting feeling.

we lucked out that the fabric she had nearly exactly matched the flowers. and i got to use my octabox outside for the first time which helped produce some great images that i think otherwise might not be possible.

it was a good shoot and yet another step towards what i want to shoot. Higher and higher quality light. better poses, better compositions.

I’m getting a lot of flack lately that my images are getting “pretty” and i’d like to dispel that right off. my images reflect the scene and mood in which they were made not some overall mandate about what i want. If i see pretty, i shoot pretty. if i see dark, emotional grit, i shoot that. If a model will show me her flaws and ugly parts, i will gladly share them with you. if her energy is more traditional i will show you that.

i have no prediliction for grit. though i love it. I will shoot beauty, or fashion, or kittens, or anything else i see that moves me.

I find it midly ironic I hear “try something new” all the time from people, but the moment something changes it ‘not your style’.

beauty is my style, whatever the form.

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new flickr account - uncensored!

July 22

the secret

here’s a little secret maybe some of you models don’t know. Photographers group together by how closely they see the light, then they talk about things. Rarely details about light, usually model horror stories.

what that means is if you are the star of one of those stories chances are you’re burned with another photographer because of it. we’re all busy people, trying to make photos (some trying to make money and photos) and we share info about the people who move us, or scare us.

this sounds unfair. because perhaps you had a bad day, or just didn’t vibe with the photographer, or we’re off your meds (really). but it’s not done for the pleasure of it, it’s done to help one another weed out the problem models before too many people work with them. in the same way models tend to tell stories about which photographers are creepy, or wouldn’t give pictures (newsflash: no pictures = shitty shoot, usually. you don’t want them).

as models you should want us to compare notes. we understand what the other wants pretty well and it can lead to some great connections. but it can also shut you out of the better photographers if you bring a lot of drama with you. this is good for everyone. you don’t have time to waste, we don’t have time to waste, and if you’re actually in it for the work, it should comfort you that your photographer takes the time to qualify you before booking.

unless your batshit crazy. there is that.

July 13

summer is here and it makes me want to take all the pretty girls out into the woods and.. shoot them? yes.

carla was telling me I would dig this girl, aura, who she said was pure muse material and encouraged me to work with her. Then marla ( the other half of the ‘arlas’ in my world ) mentioned her too and so we started talking about shooting.

I was moderately concerned about things going into the shoot, having had some bad luck lately, and having gear issues as well, but she got to my place and we decided to chance getting caught in the storm that looked about to erupt. it only took a few frames for me to realize we were going to be just fine.

we went down to a park near my place, and played around on stairs (which failed to satisfy my desire for stair shooting) and then went to the river, under an overpass for the transcanada highway which provided some kinda magic light. then off into the woods a bit and then back to my place for some sweet octabox love.

It was one of those shoots where you’re feeling it, the model is working, the light is working and you remember what excites you about shooting. I forget my favorite lens (70mm f2.4) on the bridge for 20 minutes but recovered it, then dropped a flash on concrete and killed it but otherwise.. i was happy with the entire day, and moreso as I find time to work on the photos.

July 8

Model: Marla Singer
(c) 2004-2009 i.m ruzz’ favorite sin

I originally posted this on my flickr, but thought it could go here since i’ve all but given up the idea of making money from this and thus have no potential customers to impress or profile for.

Want.

“—that moment when I took custody of the fantasies of the other men in the room”

I was recently talking to judekyle about how sometimes when men are chasing a woman, we desire that particular woman, and sometimes (maybe more often than not) we are chasing the heritage of desiring woman experienced through the spectre of male upbringing. Then I found this quote in a book im reading (which is otherwise mostly boring) and was working on this picture which couldn’t be less about who marla is as a woman, much less a person. It’s about an idea of a woman. Svelte and curling. somewhat blurry and as far from mentally concrete as possible. It seemed apt to include the quote and the thought behind the photo. I think some men might find it uncomfortable to think an image like this is stimulating for any other reason than theres a half naked woman in it, but in truth one of the few things that binds men who would otherwise either be modernly civil yet disliking of one another, or outwardly hostile is a resolute desire of woman (not A woman). wanting women is part of the mythology of being a man and one that is almost violently obvious to boys and young men. And we collect stories of want, and conquest and take them to the locker rooms in our mind and compare them to the stories we heard in hockey rinks and school gyms. from uncles sharing beers or the feather haired ladies man of the neighbourhood. we collect them but never resolve the conflict that caused the desire to collect them and so we share them yet again with the young men and boys in our worlds (because they are non-threatening and fall below us in the order of things).

it becomes complex because there is biology involved as well, and dividing biological want from “manhood” want is like splitting atoms, or separating white wine from water. Photography brings yet another complication in that it echoes the unsatisfiable nature of that want. we can find ourselves entered into some childhood fantasy but we cannot consume it. it cannot enter us and become part of us. The want is never sated and the experience becomes trapped in the mind, both while its happening and once its expressed itself. it becomes deeply unhealthy and wildly destructive as we chase and chase that woman coming in and out of focus, emerging from the shadows and slipping gently back into them. We are with her for moments in our mind but never touch her in any meaningful way, never have our fill of her, never find resolution to the riddle. The results are horrific for men. Passing on real tangible pleasures and viable relationships at the merest whisper of her. The results for woman horrific as well. They find it nearly impossible to get a man to engage them as they are and operate on the mistaken assumption we are only interested in their body which creates friction that lets itself out in the ugliest ways, when in truth their bodies are often only potential keys to unlock a desire that previously confounded them but promises to be answered on your hip. We are with you, yet, without. the suffering for both sides is massive on a historical scale and punishing on an individual scale, and so far as i’ve searched i can find no resolution to wanting this creature whom i cannot touch, or love, or consume and even the wreckage i see behind me is a mild deterrent. a momentary deterrent until i become lost in her hair again. or convulse at the fold of her arm. or burn for the arch of her back.

July 1

testing out tumblr’s new photoset feature with a few shots from the recent shoot with miss marla singer. We wen’t on an adventure through the heart of bowness (an older neighbourhood here in calgary) and found ourselves shooting fashiony stuff between two buildings trying out my new honl 8” reflector. If you shoot portable with speedlights, i really recommend you pick one of these up. They are about $40 and the light is great.

After the sun set behind the hills (valley’s suck) we made way back to my place for some estate wine she brought and to try out my new 3’ octabox. I had some pretty serious issues getting it put together but the lovely marla assisted and we prevailed over all those metal rods. I’ve decided to leave it assembled as a tribute to our teammanship, and perhaps because im not sure i can ever do it again.

She put on some vintagey like underwear and some white fishnet stockings and I dug out the new wine colored blanked i bought to replace an old red quilt I used to shoot on all the time and we set off into the light.

within a couple shots, I was in love with the new octabox, and with her all over again. The day didn’t go how I hoped. I was a bit sunstroked and not feeling my best, but the softness of the light, and the new falloff of the octabox combined in a heady mixture with her body and all that fell away for a time. I pushed on much longer than i should have, not feeling well, but after a couple of less than stellar shoots I’ve learnt to ride the light when it’s working.

and here is a sampling of what came of that ride.

June 30

Model: Marla Singer
(c) 2009 i.m. ruzz’ favorite sin

April 22

hate photoshop?

despite the constant chatter about my stuff being photoshoped, I don’t photoshop because it’s an unwieldy pig focused on a “photo” rather than a “feeling over a collection of photos”. Now some ps plugins are moving to lightroom I may get more power (woo, better images) without the tedious photoshop. You should check this out… but it does require lightroom 2.3 :)

March 28

Kate Maki by ruzz (© 2009 i.m. ruzz’ favorite sin)

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favorite sin published in ffwd magazine

I missed it when i came out but looks like one of the photos from “When That I Was” accompanied the article.

you can see the full article here.

looks like they broke the color space, and failed to give me attribution. thats how it goes sometimes. This is what it’s meant to look like…

October 4

favorite sin helps put butts in seats with smoking posters for The Shakespeare Company. yes, yes it does.

September 1

Model: Lee-Anne Kennedy

August 28

isbn application. check.

after a number of false starts trying to find the right information to get an isbn number (publishers id number for the upcoming book(s)) I finally locked on to the right site and put in my application with the Library of Canada. Could take five days or more to get approved (lets hope it does get approved!). I am also waiting on the forward to the book which is being written by the author of Existence Costs Brad E. Simkulet. He’s like a brother to me and it means a lot to have him set the context for the upcoming book.

beyond that, I am in talks with esteemed Canadian Poet Leonard Cohen’s representation about getting permission to reprint my favorite poem of his in the opening of the book. They’ve been decent and are going to review the book before deciding. so cross your fingers for that folks.

and, based on some really strong positive feedback to a series of images shown lately I am going to go ahead with the second book almost immediately. A short run, small (7” x 7”) paper back around 32-36 pages to keep costs down of some of my favorite black and white landscapes and other natural shots.

its loosely called “Impressions & Landscapes” a slight homage to my boy Lorca—it was the title of his first book—and also suitable for the content of it.

in addition to this, i am giving some thought to my thirty-seventh year and how to make it the most productive of any of them, so there will be many many more things coming down the pipe.

August 26

lightroom 2 - follow up

i love the new lightroom so much, but.. why does it have to crash every twelve seconds?

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© 2008 i.m. ruzz (all rights reserved)
this is leeanne. we had a good time. well, i did. who cares if she did. look how great she looks. you can suffer some when you look that good.

this is leeanne. we had a good time. well, i did. who cares if she did. look how great she looks. you can suffer some when you look that good.